Elon Musk to Harness Energy from Founding Fathers Spinning in their Graves

Tesla CEO Elon Musk has announced a new "Clean Energy" program that will harness power from American Founding Fathers who are now spinning in their graves.

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A tour guide first discovered the founding fathers rolling in their graves at the height of 2018. Since then, their corpses have effectively been spinning faster and faster. Elon Musk stated that we can "power all of America for the next 1000 years" by harnessing the energy granted by these spinning bodies.

Since the announcement of the general election results, the spinning spiked in intensity, each one spinning on average rate of 6700 RPM.